Insecurities

When I was little, I contemplated intensely what I should be when I grew up. When 5 years old I was very, very sure that I'd be a firefighter. Yellow was my favourite colour and as we all know, sporting the sunny colour is all a firefighter is required to do in a hard days work.

Once I realized that real fire was involved and that I'd have to face my fear of heights via climbing numerous ladder, that dream flew out the window.
Next came the obsession of dinosaurs which this day lingers in my heart. My first email ever in grade 3 was dinobones@ hotmail. I emailed anyone dinosaur related and for my birthday all I wanted was to go to the Royal Alberta Museum to look at the two dinosaurs they had year round.

Once I realized how much science and math one would have to take in order to become a paleontologist, that dream quickly fled as well.
Being an author had also struck me on occasion,

but the insecurity of it left me uncomfortable. Since flying for the first time that I could remember since immigrating to Canada it struck me that I would absolutely love to be a flight attendant.

Right now I'm trying to figure out my life, and by going to Holland this has bought me sometime, but I can't avoid real life forever. So many questions are up in the air and butterflies flit about in my stomach as I contemplate all the options I have, uni, college, straight into a career, travel, money, family, and everything inbetween. Why is life so scary? Why do they expect 18 year olds to know what to spend their entire lives doing. Breathe in and Out.. thank goodness I have a least a little bit of time to think things over.